Bemtarparf is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, quiet fly.

Bemtarparf created an atom five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemtarparf, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bemtarparf, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Bemtarparf's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bemtarparf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

2. Always help sick capybaras.

3. Bemtarparf must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.