Metdonrut is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, tiresome elephant.

Metdonrut created a photon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Metdonrut, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Metdonrut, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Metdonrut's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Metdonrut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about sharks.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.