Hotmuttail is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, dishonest monkey.

Hotmuttail created the Black Eye Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotmuttail, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hotmuttail, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hotmuttail's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Hotmuttail's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from yellow ants for they are unholy.

2. Do not hurt great tits.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never mention doves.

5. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.