Vaglenven is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, strong swallow.

Vaglenven created humankind two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vaglenven, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vaglenven, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Vaglenven's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Vaglenven's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never think ill of sick doves.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vaglenven.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.