Tarflowyik is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, impressive lobster.

Tarflowyik created the Cigar Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarflowyik, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tarflowyik, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tarflowyik's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Tarflowyik's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. You must love Tarflowyik.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Put Tarflowyik first in all things.