Futfodpog is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, smart pig.

Futfodpog created snails eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Futfodpog, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Futfodpog, she will throw large rocks at you.

Futfodpog's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Futfodpog's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Futfodpog.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Always help swans.

4. Retreat if five mites approach from the south.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.