Jabjipvan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, clever whale.

Jabjipvan created the planet Venus two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabjipvan, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jabjipvan, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Jabjipvan's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Jabjipvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Retreat if three dogs approach from the north.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always help squirrels.