Ominxinget is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, omniscient rhinoceros.

Ominxinget created the solar system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ominxinget, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ominxinget, it will remove you from existence.

Ominxinget's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Ominxinget's Holy Commandments

1. Ominxinget loves doves, so they must be honoured.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never feed bananas to grasshopers while wearing purple trousers.