Gamfignurt is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, smart human.

Gamfignurt created the Tadpole Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gamfignurt, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gamfignurt, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gamfignurt's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Gamfignurt's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never mention cats.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Feed all hungry pigs.

5. Never write about cell theory.