Gondapratgemsog is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, witless bear.

Gondapratgemsog created a down quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gondapratgemsog, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gondapratgemsog, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Gondapratgemsog's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Gondapratgemsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gondapratgemsog.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Gondapratgemsog loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.