Hogtarpbus is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, narcissistic pig.

Hogtarpbus created a photon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hogtarpbus, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hogtarpbus, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Hogtarpbus' most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Hogtarpbus' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat wheat.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Hogtarpbus loves foxes, so they must be honoured.