Lapbenquatjopdubnul is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, witty frog.

Lapbenquatjopdubnul created silver nine million years ago.

If you believe in Lapbenquatjopdubnul, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lapbenquatjopdubnul, it will turn you into a mouse.

Lapbenquatjopdubnul's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Lapbenquatjopdubnul's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention great tits.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Lapbenquatjopdubnul.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Run away from turquoise dogs, for they are unholy.