Lapsombast Linkaptonflyrendannel is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, impressive dog.

Lapsombast Linkaptonflyrendannel created the world four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapsombast Linkaptonflyrendannel, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lapsombast Linkaptonflyrendannel, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Lapsombast Linkaptonflyrendannel's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Lapsombast Linkaptonflyrendannel's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never wear green rings.

4. Lapsombast Linkaptonflyrendannel loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not kill moths.