Gathivjig is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciless raven.

Gathivjig created the solar system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gathivjig, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gathivjig, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Gathivjig's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Gathivjig's Holy Commandments

1. Gathivjig must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.