Sawcedfon is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, two-faced chinchilla.

Sawcedfon created the planet Saturn six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawcedfon, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sawcedfon, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Sawcedfon's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Sawcedfon's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never hurt nematodes.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Always pray immersed in water.