Kintigbus is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, fussy shrew.

Kintigbus created matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kintigbus, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Kintigbus, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Kintigbus' most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Kintigbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not kill cats.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not chop down trees.