Vilfennul is a god.

He takes the form of a large, fussy spider.

Vilfennul created the Whirlpool Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vilfennul, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vilfennul, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Vilfennul's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Vilfennul's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt monkeys.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Vilfennul.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.