Tipruthakapp is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fast slug.

Tipruthakapp created the Whirlpool Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Tipruthakapp, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tipruthakapp, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tipruthakapp's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Tipruthakapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never feed bread to eagles while wearing purple scarves.

3. Do not drink water in black rooms.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Hide if six shrews approach from the south.