Lopdudhab is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, bad-tempered ant.

Lopdudhab created water nine million years ago.

If you believe in Lopdudhab, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lopdudhab, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Lopdudhab's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Lopdudhab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Lopdudhab on top of all buildings.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

4. Never hurt gulls.

5. Always pray immersed in water.