Kimpincen Stikzimcar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, unsympathetic dugong.

Kimpincen Stikzimcar created carbon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimpincen Stikzimcar, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Kimpincen Stikzimcar, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Kimpincen Stikzimcar's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Kimpincen Stikzimcar's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry porpoises.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

5. Do not covet oxen.