Kemtalnurl is a god.

It takes the form of a large, staggering hyena.

Kemtalnurl created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemtalnurl, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kemtalnurl, it will destroy your home planet.

Kemtalnurl's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Kemtalnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never mention doves.

4. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.