Vedbarnhog is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, humane slug.

Vedbarnhog created humanity two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedbarnhog, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vedbarnhog, it will have a low opinion of you.

Vedbarnhog's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Vedbarnhog's Holy Commandments

1. Vedbarnhog loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always help nematodes.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vedbarnhog.

5. Never pour water over plants.