Shavyattsig is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, two-faced human.

Shavyattsig created tapeworms eight million years ago.

If you believe in Shavyattsig, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Shavyattsig, it will curse you with boils.

Shavyattsig's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Shavyattsig's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Feed all hungry geese.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not drink water in gray rooms.