Flaggumjon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, compassionate swallow.

Flaggumjon created the Milkyway eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flaggumjon, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flaggumjon, she will turn you into a tree.

Flaggumjon's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Flaggumjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

2. Always help sick dolphins.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Flaggumjon loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

5. Never look at planets.