Lancamaf is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, pitiless penguin.

Lancamaf created the planet Saturn four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lancamaf, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lancamaf, she will cry a lot.

Lancamaf's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Lancamaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not eat tomatoes.