Jamzentim is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, merciful squirrel.

Jamzentim created bats three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamzentim, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jamzentim, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Jamzentim's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Jamzentim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise shoes.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always obey Jamzentim's priests.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

5. Erect five platinum sculptures of Jamzentim on top of important buildings.