Vagfemstrag is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, capable chinchilla.

Vagfemstrag created a photon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vagfemstrag, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vagfemstrag, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vagfemstrag's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Vagfemstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vagfemstrag.

3. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not stand on grass.