Bonkbogbarnhom is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unfair slug.

Bonkbogbarnhom created humankind two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkbogbarnhom, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bonkbogbarnhom, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Bonkbogbarnhom's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bonkbogbarnhom's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.