Hakxenhom is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, uncaring rhinoceros.

Hakxenhom created tapeworms six million years ago.

If you believe in Hakxenhom, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hakxenhom, it will turn you into a goat.

Hakxenhom's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Hakxenhom's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near shrews.

2. Never talk about nebulae.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never feed aubergines to aardvarks while wearing indigo scarves.