Vagcummin is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, idiotic alligator.

Vagcummin created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Vagcummin, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vagcummin, he will ignore you.

Vagcummin's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Vagcummin's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of rats.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Put Vagcummin first in all things.

4. Never wear ear rings.

5. Always help sick geese.