Negontgab is a god.

He takes the form of a large, almighty faun.

Negontgab created the world eight million years ago.

If you believe in Negontgab, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Negontgab, he will turn you into a goat.

Negontgab's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Negontgab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Negontgab must be the most important thing in your life.