Binpanciss is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, vain bear.

Binpanciss created the cosmos five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Binpanciss, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Binpanciss, she will not invite you to parties.

Binpanciss' most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Binpanciss' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Binpanciss nine times a day.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not drink alcohol.