Zognigdagzog is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, proud wyvern.

Zognigdagzog created humankind three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zognigdagzog, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zognigdagzog, she will turn you into a dog.

Zognigdagzog's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Zognigdagzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.