Zantigzak Tonkgubmad is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciless capybara.

Zantigzak Tonkgubmad created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zantigzak Tonkgubmad, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zantigzak Tonkgubmad, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Zantigzak Tonkgubmad's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Zantigzak Tonkgubmad's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zantigzak Tonkgubmad.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Do not take Zantigzak Tonkgubmad's name in vain.

4. Zantigzak Tonkgubmad loves mites, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not listen to music.