Tifdapwad is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, charitable lizard.

Tifdapwad created silver nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tifdapwad, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tifdapwad, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Tifdapwad's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tifdapwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Tifdapwad on top of all buildings.

3. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

4. Do not wear magenta clothing.

5. Always help otters.