Zodcutviglaprulditwitton Zedvinrat is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, narcissistic crab.

Zodcutviglaprulditwitton Zedvinrat created life nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodcutviglaprulditwitton Zedvinrat, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Zodcutviglaprulditwitton Zedvinrat, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Zodcutviglaprulditwitton Zedvinrat's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Zodcutviglaprulditwitton Zedvinrat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

5. You must never eat lemons.