Lagstikkom is a god.

She takes the form of a large, happy manatee.

Lagstikkom created the Black Eye Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagstikkom, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lagstikkom, she will refuse to believe in you.

Lagstikkom's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Lagstikkom's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple snails, for they are unholy.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Hide if seven capybaras approach from the east.

5. Do not take Lagstikkom's name in vain.