Bumjensak is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, dishonourable chicken.

Bumjensak created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumjensak, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bumjensak, it will turn you into a puffin.

Bumjensak's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Bumjensak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Never laugh near great tits.