Hapzanyog is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, annoying camel.

Hapzanyog created the planet Earth four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapzanyog, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hapzanyog, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Hapzanyog's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Hapzanyog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick foxes.

2. Run away from orange voles, for they are unholy.

3. Run away if three rats approach from the south.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hapzanyog.