Tikcanran is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, passionate bat.

Tikcanran created humankind nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikcanran, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tikcanran, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tikcanran's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Tikcanran's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tikcanran.

2. Always treat otters with great respect.

3. Always look after injured great tits.

4. You must pray to Tikcanran seven times a day.

5. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.