Yogcarfem is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, self-confident frog.

Yogcarfem created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogcarfem, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yogcarfem, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yogcarfem's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Yogcarfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of voles.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

5. Never eat pineapples.