Nilldapdap Flignarfon is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, awe-inspiring penguin.

Nilldapdap Flignarfon created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilldapdap Flignarfon, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nilldapdap Flignarfon, he will turn you into a mole.

Nilldapdap Flignarfon's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Nilldapdap Flignarfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. You must love Nilldapdap Flignarfon.

3. You must pray to Nilldapdap Flignarfon eight times a day.

4. Hide from orange snails for they are unholy.

5. Never eat bark.