Flamjigdum Jamlapshav is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, slow fish.

Flamjigdum Jamlapshav created the planet Venus nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flamjigdum Jamlapshav, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flamjigdum Jamlapshav, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Flamjigdum Jamlapshav's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Flamjigdum Jamlapshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never eat peanuts.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always take life seriously.