Wiparfnab is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, overgenerous duck.

Wiparfnab created an up quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wiparfnab, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wiparfnab, she will strike you with lightening.

Wiparfnab's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Wiparfnab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

2. Hide if four tapirs approach from the north.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.