Flappitbog is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, thoughtless jaguar.

Flappitbog created carbon four years ago.

If you believe in Flappitbog, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flappitbog, he will turn you into a frog.

Flappitbog's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Flappitbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet rings.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.