Fotparkfad is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, temperamental troll.

Fotparkfad created a charm quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotparkfad, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fotparkfad, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fotparkfad's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Fotparkfad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Run away if seven foxes approach from the north.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Fotparkfad loves seals, so they must be respected.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.