Dabganciss is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, irritating crab.

Dabganciss created a top quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Dabganciss, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dabganciss, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Dabganciss' most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Dabganciss' Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Dabganciss on top of all buildings.

3. Put Dabganciss first in all things.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Do not commit murder.