Satspaghug is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, caring rhinoceros.

Satspaghug created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Satspaghug, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Satspaghug, it will turn you into a dog.

Satspaghug's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Satspaghug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never think ill of sick voles.

3. Retreat if three snakes approach from the north.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.