Tamgofjig is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, annoying swallow.

Tamgofjig created a strange quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tamgofjig, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tamgofjig, she will turn you into a puffin.

Tamgofjig's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Tamgofjig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never sit near voles.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.