Gubcedmif is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, compassionate hamster.

Gubcedmif created tapeworms three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gubcedmif, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gubcedmif, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gubcedmif's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Gubcedmif's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not commit murder.